Who Are We fighting?

 

full face

“When the axe entered the forest the tress said “look the handle is one of us”.

 

 

 

I started to write this blog post about 15 times in the last two months. I’m not sure if I stopped out of frustration or anger, whichever one it was this needs to be addressed.

 

I am a twenty-six year old plus size women from Brooklyn New York who over the years has falling madly in love with every inch of my nearly 300pound body. Yes Nearly 300 pounds. In the process of me falling in love with myself the noise from the audience of critics has gotten louder, “stronger” and wronger ( I know that not a word but let me live). I usually try not to pay attention to the audience  but I must admit as I stepped into the social media world a lot more  it’s hard not to. The size of the audience didn’t surprise me, nor did the Ludicrous comments uttered out of their mouths. As a plus size women sadly I was familiar with it. The most astonishing part of this ordeal was who had a front seat.

 

Women who not only spoke like me, walked like me but ironically looked just like me. There is a proverb that says “when the axe entered the forest the tress said “look the handle is one of us”. Damn that shit hurts. It is senseless how plus size women can be the plus size woman worst enemy.  We have so many battles to fight on and off the internet. When it comes to plus size body appreciation there’s no way we are going to win if we are too busy fighting each other. Don’t believe me? Go to your favorite plus size social media site designed to highlight all plus size shapes, I bet the women with the most negative things to say looks just like the person in the picture. Conditioned critics missing the bigger picture. Are “we” our worst enemy, in a sense?   We must rebel against acceptable fatness. “Only curvy plus is the right plus”. By doing that we are falling for the same conditioning we claim to rejec

I could go on and on but I won’t just remember a bunch of tiny spiders can tie up a hug lion. We as a community need to embrace and fight together instead of picking apart denying our own reflection.

 

Have you ever experienced this what are your thoughts? Let’s talk!

 

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12 Comments

  1. April 3, 2014 / 9:36 pm

    I love this. I feel as though the only acceptable curve size is the one with the extra small waist. That is so unrealistic. That’s why I really liked the variety of models that Tionna Smalls chose to represent the clothes on her website.

    • Ootc
      April 3, 2014 / 9:58 pm

      I agree! I think its a little deeper than that though. Its all about demand. There was a time when I was regularly doing photo shoots for out of the corner and I realized that body type is what plus size women want to see. Ironic? I know. The hourglass shaped sold the must garments no matter what it was. i think plus size women are buying into the idea of the women not the clothing. Its weird

  2. April 3, 2014 / 9:43 pm

    When you’re right, you’re right. Preach on!

    • Ootc
      April 3, 2014 / 9:58 pm

      PREACH ON THOUGH? i HATE YOU LOL

  3. Sabrina
    April 3, 2014 / 9:47 pm

    This is so true! I remember working at Lane Bryant when I was 20 and the way the customers would talk to me….it is insane. 11 years later, I think it’s worse than it was before. I mostly get called fat on the street by woman who aren’t thin. I know we are taught competition at a young age, but sometimes there’s no need to compete. You don’t have to like how I look. But you don’t have to go WAY out of your way to tell me how fat you think I am. I know what the hell I look like. It’s super annoying. Usually I ignore it. But sometimes I go off. Can’t we support each other?!?

    • Ootc
      April 3, 2014 / 10:02 pm

      CRITICS KILT THE KAT LOl. One a serious note though I truly understand I think people are uncomfortable around individuals who make them question themselves. Ive heard women say “at least im not that fat” Im just sitting here like huh

      • Sabrina
        April 3, 2014 / 10:06 pm

        Hahaha!! Oh totally!!!! I think when women see another women being super confident and they aren’t, that’s when they attack! They wish they could wear that fun outfit or be super outgoing. It’s soooo deep. Yeah I do laugh when someone says “at least I’m not that fat”..90% of the time they’re bigger than me. GIRL BYE.

  4. April 3, 2014 / 10:21 pm

    That proverb really hit home for me. It’s genius. It’s truth. It’s very frustrating when your trying to live your best life & inadvertently you inspire others which is awesome…yet at the same time you trigger those “crtics” (haters) because they’re unhappy with themselves. They can’t understand how you look alike yet you’re able to love who you are in your current state & they have yet to grasp that concept. Instead of inquiring about how they too can gain said confidence they choose to Hate simply because they hate themselves. This was a great write up sweetie. Keep doing your thing!

  5. April 3, 2014 / 10:59 pm

    Thank you so much for highlighting this issue. I’m 6’0 tall. 300+ pounds (at this moment), rectangle/cone shaped. My shoulders are broad and my ass is flat. My chest is larger and my stomach is fat. My hips are narrow. And I have NEVER EVER seen a woman who looks like me in a Lane Bryant, Torrid, Gwynnie Bee, or Forever 21 + add. Hell, I’ve never seen a Forever 21 + add. But I digress. I said all of that to say that we allow ourselves to become wrapped up in the media’s standard of what constitutes as plus size. From size (#) to shape. The coveted hourglass and pear shapes are typically what we see. I like to think of myself as an eccentric/classic dresser. I’m usually complimented on the combination of pieces that I wear. But I also get a lot of “shade” “:hate” and disgusted looks from women who have a. an hourglass or pear shaped body b. a woman who is plus sized and doesn’t have a sense of style or c. a plus size woman who just thinks that I shouldn’t be “embarrassing myself by wearing such things” (i.e. short skirts, shorts, SLEEVELESS TOPS, short dress. you get the picture) It doesn’t hurt me that they think I’m wrong for wearing whatever, but it sure is sad think that I used to think just like them and was wear any and everything that would completely cover, drown, and hide all of me. I’m glad that I came out of that. But in order to celebrate other plus sized women or give them a genuine compliment, we have to appreciate and liberate ourselves. Above all, respect others.

  6. Kay
    April 4, 2014 / 2:56 am

    Personally I think retail stores can be our biggest critic. We hooray when we see a store that finally sale plus size xl-3x until we get in the fitting room and the 3x fits like a junior Tee. Basically stores are selling junior plus not real women plus. Theres a difference between forever 21 3x clothing and lane bryant 3x clothing…

  7. June 27, 2014 / 4:15 pm

    Chileeeee…… You inspire me. While I love my body, there are some things I wish would be smoother/slimmer and I am working on those, nevertheless to find anything flattering for my shape where I live (Portland, Oregon) is soooooo discouraging. We are a ride bike, hike, vegan, athletic WHITE, SKINNY, town and everything here is catered to that type of lifestyle, clothing included. Being here makes me feel super big but to see you loving yourself and being fierce at the same time, whewwww! Thank you

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